Another woman who wants (say) a religiously serious family man with a good job might well find that men in her dating pool are indifferent to tattoos but care deeply about whether she likes reading science fiction and playing D&D. Presumably, she projects a shy, nerdy vibe—the kind of girl an Orson Scott Card fan wants to take home to Mom.
All this means that people’s advice and complaints primarily reflect, not great truths about love and dating and gender relations, but their own idiosyncratic way of moving through the world.
— Read on thingofthings.substack.com/p/why-all-dating-discourse-is-terrible
This dating article is really about how humans subconsciously create communities around them based on their preferences. Without thinking about it, we express our preferences by filtering out things we don’t like and signaling things we like.
This shapes the jobs we’re exposed to and the people that stay in our lives. What’s really fascinating about this article is that the author consciously tries to discover the signals that she’s sending by analyzing the subconscious patterns she engages in repeatedly.
Robert Anton Wilson calls the result of these patterns “reality tunnels,” because these subconscious preferences shape the way we view reality. He thinks that we can change our reality tunnels, but I’m not totally sure. Can we really change our reality tunnels? Has anyone been successful at this?






